I don't want yo' stinkin' apple cider!

I’ve blogged about people mistaking me for being pregnant (thrice), but have I ever blogged about people mistaking me for being a lot younger than I really am? Now I know some, if not the majority of you are laughing and saying that this is a good thing and that I’ll thank them when I’m 40, which may be true, but at this moment in time I do not find it amusing or flattering. In fact, I find it annoying and insulting! It would be one thing if these people thought I was, say, 21 or 22, but the fact that these people are convinced I’m not old enough to vote yet, let alone drink, is so incredibly frustrating!

One Sunday afternoon in ‘09, Sister, our hubbies and I went out to brunch at the hotel where Sister got married. We ladies were waiting at the table as the boys grazed the buffett when our server came over and asked Sister if she would like some champagne. Sister agreed and when she was finished pouring the server turned around and placed the champagne bottle back in the ice bucket, completely bypassing me. Sister and I communicated to each other through awkward faces and I turned to stare daggers at the woman. The server noticed my gaze and said to me, rather condescendingly as if speaking to a child, “Would you like some sparkling apple cider?” My mouth fell agape, for I couldn’t believe this woman just asked me this question in the tone that she did. I turned to Sister who replied to the server, “Uh…she’s um…” The server looked at her, smiling and nodding expectantly, “she’s 27,” my sister finished, pointing at me. The server was embarrassed, apologized profusely, asked me if I, too, wanted champagne (to which I said yes, mostly out of spite) and continued to tell me that I’ll be grateful in 20 years when I’m mistaken to be 10 years younger. Needless to say I was not amused and I chose to decline eye contact with her for the rest of the meal. She did, however, continue to fill up my champagne glass so I guess there’s a plus side to the incident. When Hubby returned to the table I told him the story and he said to me, “Well, she either thought you were 16 or that you were pregnant.” “Or maybe both!” I joked. And what was with her emphasizing the fact that the apple cider was sparkling? Was she trying to make me feel like a “big girl” for being offered it? Pah-lease!

Cut to two years later when my coworker and I were meeting other people for drinks at a bar down the street from the office. We had gotten to the bar rather early so we staked claim at a table in the corner. But before we were given the chance to sit down, we were asked by the manager for our ID’s. This was rather ironic because not two minutes earlier we were discussing in the car how obnoxious it is when we’re mistaken for underage. I guess my co-worker has the same issues. So the manager cards us and plays the “I’m going to be cool and act like this ID isn’t real” card and gives my co-worker a hard time. He eventually believes us and we grab a seat. A few minutes later, while we’re still waiting for the other people to show, we decide we’re going to order at the bar. The bartender, who was present and aware before when we were carded by the manager, carded us yet again before she served us. What. The. Heck? You saw this happen the first time! Way to give us a hard time. Unfortunately the $9, 2 oz pour of red wine wasn’t worth it.

Here I am, b*tching and moaning about how I look young, but in which department do I do my clothes shopping? Yeah, that’s right, Juniors. I guess it serves me right. If it looks like a duck and all. Maybe, subconsciously, I’m trying to hold on to my youth because I’m not ready to grow up. I’m married, a homeowner and pushing 30, so maybe I want to act as young as I can for as long as I can. Or maybe the Juniors department is the only department that can fit my I’m-not-pregnant-but-it-looks-like-I-am belly and butt. Whatever it is, I don’t think I’ll ever shop in the Women’s department. I’ll be sporting some skinny, low-rise, boot cut jeans until I’m too old to remember what jeans are. The clothes in the Juniors department are just way too cute to pass up!

Jeans courtesy of the Juniors dept. in Macy's & shirt from Juniors dept. in Target!